Naturally, my thoughts shifted to getting it on with a pioneering computer program.ELIZA was developed at the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory in the mid-'60s by Joseph Weizenbaum.Hookup bots have become online dating archetypes, joining ghosts and catfish as 21st century matchmaking anti-heroes.To the trained eye, they're easy to spot, with little if any information in their profiles, a single photo displaying an incredible body and a flawless face and a whole lot of "lolz ;)."In my experience, the conversations usually goes something like this: It doesn't matter what you say next or really at any point in the conversation, the bot will inevitably send you a link to a camsite where you'll promptly be asked to hand over your credit card information.(Pro tip: Next time a bot tells you how big its dick is, do yourself a favor and ask for its mother's ambrosia salad recipe.)Of course, not all of ELIZA's progeny are nefarious gold diggers.Plenty of chatbots are happy to gab about dicks (yours or theirs) for zero financial reward; you're just not likely to find them on Tinder.But as the Ashley Madison leaks showed last summer, some chatbots just want you for your money.
Like death and taxes, our unending quest to fuck everything that exhibits signs of life is inevitable.
Each year, AI enthusiasts compete for the Loebner prize, which pits chatbot against chatbot to see who or what can come closest to passing that test.
While more sophisticated methods of machine learning are in development, many of today's chatbots are still built on a similar coded call-and-response formula as ELIZA.
Given her history, ELIZA would be by far the most important thing I'd ever had sex with.
Of course, the ELIZA I was trying to bone was one of many clones, and it's hard to say how close to the original it really comes, but after testing a few different versions, the results were equal parts frustrating and hilarious.